Practice giving feedback that actually lands

The Ladder of Inference describes how our minds move from a raw observation all the way up to a strong belief or judgement — often in seconds, without us noticing. Great feedback stays at the bottom rung: the specific thing you saw or heard, with no interpretation added.

The Knock is how you open a feedback conversation. Before sharing feedback, you ask the other person if they're open to hearing it — making the topic clear, giving them a choice over timing, and reducing surprise. Think of it as knocking on someone's door before entering: you don't barge in unannounced. A good knock avoids vague openers like "Can we talk?" or "We need to talk?" and instead names what the conversation is about.

The Talk is the feedback itself — delivered in two parts. First, the what: describe the specific behavior you observed, staying at the bottom of the ladder of inference (what you literally saw or heard, with no judgements added). Second, the so what: explain the impact that behavior had — on you, the team, or the work. Separating these two keeps the conversation factual and opens space for real dialogue.

The Lock is how you close the feedback conversation in a way that makes the learning stick. Before you leave, stay curious — check the other person's perspective, get on the same page, and agree on what comes next. A simple "How do you see it?" is often all you need to start. Avoid asking multiple questions at once, and resist the urge to wrap things up too quickly — this is where real alignment happens.